For everyone who’s here for the Fifty Shades stuff, I’ve just added a new page to the site so that you don’t have to suffer the extreme annoyance of searching WordPress tags. Fifty Shades Freed and Darker indexes will be added later, but there should be enough horrible to keep you all amused for the time being. Click the link below to go to the index page or click Fifty Shades Recaps on the page bar above.
For all your ‘When does he pull her tampon out?’ and ‘Is there anal in Fifty Shades of Grey’ search needs. (And no. There is no anal in Fifty Shades of Grey.)
Posted in big steaming heaps of it, Fifty Shades of Abuse, Fifty Shades of Neigh, Fifty Shades of Shit, Unfathomably bad movies
Tagged books that ate my brain, bullshit, Christian Thundercat Grey, drunks, fifty shades annotated, fifty shades of abuse, hot mess, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, the worst book in the world, there is no anal sex in fifty shades of grey, Throwing up
This is it. This is finally it. The last chapter of Fifty Shades of Grey. Twenty-six is a strangely appropriate number, because this monster of a book often feels like a marathon; it hurts like hell, you think it will never end and it may very well make you throw up in public.
The chapter begins with Ana waking up, and I don’t even care because I don’t have to read any more of this crap once this chapter is over.
Posted in big steaming heaps of it, books, Fifty Shades of Abuse, Fifty Shades of Shit, reviews, wtf
Tagged crap, fifty shades annotated, fifty shades of abuse, fifty shades of grey, new depths of boredom, truly awful books
Chapter twenty-four starts with another one of Ana’s ever-so-meaningful ‘symbolic’ dreams.
Christian stands in a steel-barred cage. Wearing his soft, ripped jeans, his chest and feet are mouthwateringly naked…
This is my second favourite participle mess of the entire book. While it doesn’t quite come close to the one where he was wearing a tie with eyeballs and a shrewd expression, it’s still pretty special in context. Just a heads up – Thomas Hardy fans might want to grab something to bite down on before reading any further. Continue reading
Chapter twenty-three opens with Ana sitting in a bar in Georgia and realising that her demented boyfriend has stalked her all the way from Seattle. Continue reading
Posted in big steaming heaps of it, books, Fifty Shades of Shit, wtf
Tagged crap, drunks, fifty shades annotated, fifty shades of grey, jiggly bits, sordid gropings, there is no anal sex in fifty shades of grey, truly awful books
This post comes from a place of deep, heartfelt joy. Yes, that’s right – yesterday I finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey and it can’t hurt me anymore! It’s over! I am FREE!
You, however, have got another five terrible chapters to read. Sorry about that. Continue reading
In case you didn’t notice, I have a new book to plug, so consider Fifty Shades Later well and truly plugged. It’s a chunky little number, half novel, half sweary literary criticism, and uses the words ‘sasquatch’ and ‘gangbang’ quite often and almost always in the same sentence. Stuff that in your search engines, you weirdos.
Anyway – on to the crap. Continue reading