Tag Archives: goonreads

Goonreads Horror Short Story Competition

Well, it’s September. Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, as Keats would have it, and season of ‘where the fuck did the rest of the year go?’ to those of us with slightly less charming vocabularies.

The hot hell-breath of NaNoWriMo may already be wafting down the back of your neck, whispering sick, wrong, dirty things – “It’s only fifty thousand words in a month,” or “You only have two kids and a full time job,” or “No, this year I’ll revise that mess. I will.”

And you hmm and haa but deep down you know you want it. You know that come November 1st you’re going to be right where you always are – sugar-high, keyboard bound and up past your bedtime.

But, say you want to ease yourself into it this year? After all, marathon runners don’t go into this thing cold. And lucky old you – Goonreads are having a short story competition that you can enter now simply by registering at the site.

Yes, it’s been a year since the beginning of Goonreads, a much smaller and altogether more…well…goony cousin of Goodreads. Those who are familiar with SomethingAwful will know what I mean by ‘goony’ – gooniness works on a sliding scale, from ‘slightly goony’ all the way up to ‘goony as gently caress’.

Fabulous Prizes!

Yes, there are prizes! The winner will receive a $50 Amazon gift certificate, to be spent on werewolf porn, zombie novels or books whose covers shamelessly abuse the Bleeding Cowboy font and then some; whatever floats your boat, you weirdo.

The Contest

The Prompts.

You have until October 5th to take these prompts and construct your tale of terror.

Register at Goonreads

Goonreads Promo and Free Books! FREEEEEE!

When I’m not pointing and laughing at pretend ghosts or sideeyeing haunted houses, I like to write books. You might have noticed me doing that from time to time. I am expecting another one in about April – I say about April because you never know how long you’re going to need to get over a first draft. I’m told they’re a lot like episiotomies in that respect.

It turns out – shocker, I know – that everyone on the internet is a writer these days. (I was stunned. Really.) Loads of people are doing this book-writing thing, many of them featured at Goonreads. And no, that’s not a typo.

Goonreads is the brain baby of Something Awful and yet somehow still manages to be less awful than Goodreads. Less frantic animated gifs and less people thinking SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE is a word and is somehow appropriate to be used in a book review. (Yes I am old and no I do not give a fuck.) So go there and look at the books. Some of them are very good. Some of them are simply dreadful, like that My Little Pony parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. Did you ever see such a thing? What kind of sick mind would come up with a thing like that?

You should also follow the shiny new Twitter feed, for promotions, author blogs, writing advice and also because the admin is currently scratching herself and not doing much at all. Such laziness. You can’t get the staff, you know.

Oh, and one more thing – I’m giving away free Kindle books. Totally free. Shiny free copies of Summerland. The only thing I ask in return is a review –  on Amazon, on your blog, on Goodreads (if you really must). You get a free book and I get an honest review. Don’t hold back. If you thought it was a reprehensible puddle of filth and the author ought to be locked up on bread and water with nothing but her diseased mind for company then you are perfectly within your rights to say so. That’s the price of putting your shit in the public domain. So go wild. Comment here and I’ll hook you up with a chunk of reading matter.